Lynkin's 1st Christmas

I have to say, I was very blessed to have found this little guy! He's totally chill, loves to cuddle, nothing major is chewed up {knock HARD on wood everywhere!}. That could be due to the fact he is totally spoiled and has a basket full of toys! I just seriously love him and I am excited to spend how many years as possible with this little guy!

Lynkin's first Christmas ornament! Thanks Auntie Erika!!!

Some of his toys and a great big yummy treat!
Lynkin's first stocking...

The White House

I've always imagined the White House.... well, not surrounded by buildings!

Let's back up here... I went to visit Erika in DC (Alexandria, VA). Across the street from her apartment is the Metro. So when I flew in, late Thursday night, I knew I'd be on my own for Friday. My plan was to take the Metro and check out the memorials. The next three days we'd spend venturing out together. I cross the street to the metro and realize it's completely different than the L in Chicago or Metro in Rome. I now need to figure out where I am exactly and where I am going. Finally, I'm on my way. {By the way... the DC Metro, the blue and yellow lines will run the same track and same with the green, red, and orange}. I arrive to my destination, to see the Vietnam Memorial Wall! I figure it cannot be too hard to find once I get off the metro but it seems the people I ask have no clue where the memorials are. HELLO DC... the memorials are kind of big! I find a security officer and she gives me directions and tells me it's going to be a long walk, a really long walk! I go straight to 21st St. Take a left to E St. Keep walking to 17th St. All of a sudden, sirens go off and a police car is stopping traffic to my right! Police officers are crossing into the street and to my right, traffic is being stopped by another police car. Police on motorcycles come from across the street! Two men behind me are telling the police officer their hands are out of their pockets!!! I look at the police officer and tell him I am new to let me know what to do. He says to just stay where I am. Behind me, the two men are talking and I begin to realize this I may actually live. I ask this nice police officer, who does not even smile the entire time, if it's a photo opportunity and he says "probably". So I take out my camera {yes, from my purse and I assure you that police office watched the entire time as I was reaching into my purse}. I quickly snap a photo of this....... I did not even realize the car had passed because once I put the camera down, I was too intrigued by all of the secret service vehicles, which were following this car....

The nice men behind me explain this is not the President, could be the Vice President or someone else. Meanwhile, I still have no idea where I am at and my only goal at this point is the Vietnam Wall! I have seen the top of the Washington Memorial so I know I am getting close but being my first time to DC, I do not have my bearings yet. Once I am able to keep walking, I turn to look back and there is the White House!

Stand.....

It always comes back to this....

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break

Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place


I really need to start just writing my thoughts in a journal instead of posting through a song on here... but over the last couple of months, I have nothing happy to write about, except Lynkin. He makes me happy and tonight... he gets to sleep on my bed because he's unconditional.

Collide

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you, yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide

You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide

~Howie Day

I love him

but sometimes,

it just hurts too bad.

Candy Anyone?

New house, kid neighborhood... you'd think A LOT of trick or treaters, right? WRONG!

I had about 10 kids.....

Maybe next year will be a little more Halloweenish around here!


Oh... and Lynkin did great going to the door with me. :)
I LOVE him! :)

20 years

So this weekend was my 20 year reunion...

did I go? No

20 years ago, I never thought I'd be here. I thought by now I'd be married and have kids, be a mom. The type of mom I read about on blog after blog. It's all I ever wanted. But things don't end up the way we want. For some reason, God really enjoys letting me know things don't turn out the way we want or hope for. I keep waiting for the lesson I'm suppose to learn. Maybe the boat keeps passing by and I don't see it because it's smaller than I thought, but I really just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel here.

I would give anything in the world for those I care about but it seems that in return I can't even get half. I don't expect the same in return, maybe that is my problem. I'm "too emotional" or "too girl" but you know what... at least I am loyal, caring, and trustworthy. Maybe I should lie, not give a crap, cheat, not go above and beyond to treat the person I care about like he is the greatest thing that walks on this earth. Then I wouldn't care and I wouldn't be "too girl".

If anyone knows a doctor who can take out a girls emotions, let me know... I think it could help!

Playtime

Lynkin is getting braver and braver. Here he is playing with my mom's dog, Bella. He's holding his own when playing with her now. They have definitely been entertaining us for the last couple of days!

Human chew toy

I tried to get a good video of Lynkin attacking me! He goes straight for my hands so I'll roll on my stomach and hide my hands and face. He'll start scratching at my head and biting my hair!

Lynkin

I am 100% in LOVE with this little guy...

Coach Shoes and their new home...

My shoes... in their new home!

I LOVE... LOVE... LOVE.. these shoes. I thought about them 6 weeks prior to purchasing them because I knew I was going to buy a house and knew I should save my money. Finally, I gave in. I figured when I actually had the house, I wouldn't be able to afford them like I could at that point. A friend kept giving me a hard time about the shoes so I had to take a photo of them by theirselves in the closet. They now have friends and look absolutely HOT in my house... Yep, super glad I bought the shoes when I did!

{p.s. the baseboards were not done when the photos were taken}

The House

I still need to decorate and take better photos but here is a sneak peak...

Master Bedroom looking into the Master Bath. The carpet and paint is new. Still in the moving stages... Kitchen and Family Room.



Guest Bath... I wanted it to match my pillow case, so my painter took the pillow case down to match the color. This came out darker than I expected but I actually really like it. I still want to add some pink and brown accents in the bathroom... just need to find what I want!

Laundry Room... what a nightmare! I wanted the front loaders and I got them. However, they didn't fit at first. I had to have my painter move the vent to the dryer so we could put the closet doors on (yes, the one thing I don't love about this house is I do not have a laundry room... it's just in the hall). Well, he moved the vent to push the dryer back; however, I just realized today... that I have to manuever the soap dispenser past the open closet door and the dryer door doesn't open all the way. I need to move the dryer over! Basically... I need a handyman to put on different doors or something... I still LOVE my washer and dryer though!

So, that's a sneak peak. When I get more organized and some things up on the walls, I'll take more photos and post. I think the funniest thing is Max though. I really think he likes the house but he's always just wandering around, like he's lost or something. Because of all the tile, it echo's in the house and when I call his name, he looks the other way. Keep in mind, he's 14-1/2 so that does not help! The last couple days, I've gone in the pool for a couple of hours. The pool has a gate around it and Max keeps coming outside and walking around the yard, then goes back inside. He'll even stick his head out the doggie door. Cracks me up! Not the best photo but here's a quick look at the happiness of a dog in his new home!

House

Tomorrow, it will be official......

House Hunting

Last May I decided to buy a house. This was something I have always wanted to do and decided it was fine. I did not want to start looking for awhile, because I did not want to find a house in June, close in August, and move in the middle of 118 degree weather. So, I waited until the middle of July to start looking and found the house I wanted. Unfortunately, it was a short sale but I wasn't in a hurry so I was fine to wait. Well, I waited 7 months. I passed up a few houses only because I REALLY wanted this specific one and everyone kept saying to hold out, it will happen. In mid February, I was told the seller's changed their mind and I decided to fight to keep their house. So, I was back to square one, with only 3 months until the first time homeowners tax credit expires. I found the next house; however, it was overpriced. I kept looking at other houses and watched the price on the 2nd house drop. When it finally got to a price I was willing to pay, I made an offer. We went back and forth for 8 days only to find out the seller and agent were basically partners and in my opinion, low life scum. I countered with 'you pay me back if the house does not close on time' and the seller said he wouldn't counter my offer. Back to square one, again. Third house, I made an offer, someone came in and offered substantially more and cash. DANG IT! Meanwhile... I have an offer on a second short sale since mid-February but not expecting anything to come of it because, well... you can see a pattern, right? Currently, this 2nd short sale house has been approved by the 1st mortgage company. I am waiting for the 2nd mortgage company to 'officially' approve the 2nd mortgage. They stated they would as soon as the 1st was approved. It hasn't quite been a week, but seriously, they better hurry up because next week, I am going back to look at houses.

Oh the joys of trying to have a mortgage payment!

BIG things...

Every month I receive an email from NaBloPoMo with ideas to blog about for the month. This month, April, I am suppose to talk about BIG things.
My BIG things right now are:
1. Finishing school (mid-August, unless I take a much needed break).
2. Buying a house (this is complete HELL).
3. Understanding the life of the busiest man I know.
4. Balancing all these BIG things so they do not effect my job.
5. Finding time for me.
6. Forgiveness

For some reason, I get to deal with all of this at once. I think I've come to that breaking point that I just cannot handle it all on my own. Unfortunately, no one else can help me with these BIG decisions and goals that I must and will complete.

I watches the movie Amish Grace this morning. I started to cry (cuz how can you not if you've seen that movie) and cried for the next 5 or 6 hours. I needed to cry and destress. The basis of the movie was forgiveness. This is BIG too. So now, over the month of April, I have a few things to talk about. I don't want to info dump on you now so we'll take it one step at a time.

Step 1: School

I have finally given up on straight A's. I know I can do it but at this time, I probably will not turn in my last paper. It will drop me to a B and honestly, is that so bad? No, it's not. (I am sure tomorrow I'll change my mind and write the paper but if I don't, I will be ok with it). After tomorrow, I will have 3 classes left. I am seriously thinking of taking a two week break but I know it will prolong my final end date and I really just want this program to be over. A bit of advice for those who want to complete their MBA, HAVE A BUSINESS BACKGROUND! Well that and don't stress over A's. No one is going to ask what your GPA was so why is it so hard for me to be ok with that? Yes, we've had this conversation many times but now, I think I really don't care. I just want it to be over.

Stay tuned for the house hunting... I will post on that a different day because tonight, it would probably have too many 'sailor' words in the post.... not a good thing.

Peace friends~

If You want me to

The pathway is broken

And The signs are unclear

And I don't know the reason why You brought me here

But just because You love me the way that You do

I'm gonna walk through the valley

If You want me to

Chorus:

Cause I'm not who I was

When I took my first step

And I'm clinging to the promise

You're not through with me yet

So if all of these trials bring me closer to You

Then I will walk through the fire

If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen

When you lead me through a world that's not my home

But You never said it would be easy

You only said I'd never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me

And I'm all by myself

And I can't hear You answer my cries for help

I'll remember the suffering that Your love put You through

And I will walk through the darkness

If You want me to

Cuz when I cross over Jordan

Gonna sing, gonna shout,

Gonna look into Your eyes and see You never let me down

So take me on the pathway that leads me home to You

And I will walk though the valley If You want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley

If You want me to

~Ginny Owens

For You...

You're better then the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your light

Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right

Completely unaware

Nothing can compare to where you send me,

Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok

And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like bird

Dizzy in my head, spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone

Somehow you come along

Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that

You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like bird

Dizzy in my head, spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday nightYou make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you

Cuz everytime that I get around you

I see the best of me inside your eyes

You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like bird

Dizzy in my head, spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh, you make me smile

Goal #2

Out with the old... in with the new.

I am slowly packing because I know at some point, I will be moving. Goal #2 is to purge. Get rid of things I do not use {easier said than done}. Here is what happens. I come across something I haven't used and I think to myself... but I WILL use it!!! Hint to self: NO YOU WILL NOT! My second though: the house will be bigger. Second tip to self: WHO CARES! Is this just me? Does anyone else contemplate what to get rid of and what not to get rid of? I remember when I was little, this trait of mine drove my mother insane. I used to save the shavings of my crayons (for some odd reason I learned you could melt them together to make one cool crayon). I never did melt them together. Wish me luck!

2010 - Goal #1

One goal for this year is nightly push-ups! Something simple to do, right? Sure if you enjoy them and last I checked, I'm not super fond of these. However, once I get into the 'groove', they are not so bad. It's the starting of them that I do not like. If you are interested in some more, advanced versions of push-ups, I found this website that is beneficial to making sure you have good posture with your pushups, plus, the site will give you those harder modified versions!

For another version (that is not found on the above website), try push-ups on a stability ball (found here).

Alright all... time to get to the push-ups for the night.

Here's to a new decade, health, and fitness!