Friday, April 27, 2012

Flowers and Herbs

Flowers and herbs... planted 2 weeks ago. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Lynkin and the pool

So for whatever reason, Lynkin is terrified of the pool. When he was a puppy, I would sit on the first step and put him on my lap, hoping to ease him into the water. All he wanted was to get out of the pool. When he turned a year and the water was warm again, I tried putting him back in the pool, slowly. Yep, I had a 60 pound dog sitting on my lap and wanting as far away as he could get from this big blue hole with something in it that he was only used to drinking... aka water.

For the last 5 weeks, my mom has been staying at my house and her dog LOVES to swim in the pool. My mom has been putting both dogs in the fenced in area of the pool. Lynkin has actually been running around the pool and the dogs have played. I might add that last summer if I went near the pool, Lynkin went right back in the house!

I was getting excited, thinking that even if he doesn't want to swim, at least he won't run back in the house when I go near the pool. That's a huge plus!

Well, yesterday...... my mom was sitting by the pool, her small dog fell in the pool, she grabbed him and pulled him out. In the meantime, Lynkin and Bella (her lab), were running around the pool, playing. The next thing my mom knew, Lynkin had fallen in the pool! My poor mom, on crutches, had to get up and crutch her way to the end of the pool. Lynkin was holding on to the edge with his front paws. She grabbed onto him and pulled him out. Now Lynk will not go near the pool nor will he go outside when she is by the pool. This means we start all over again.

What this also means is not only watch your children around your pool but your dogs too! My mom said she turned her head for about 2 seconds and Lynkin was in the pool. That's also how long it takes for a child to fall in the pool. Luckily Lynkin (the brilliant dog he is) knew to grab on to the side of the pool! He's safe, my mom's little dog is safe, and I just have to work on helping Lynkin know the pool is not his enemy.

Watch your CHILDREN and your DOGS by the pool!!!!

Friday, April 13, 2012

A daughter’s love for her Dad is forever

I came across a Christmas card that I had bought for my dad but never mailed. Gave it to a friend so she could give it to her dad. (see below what the card said)

It seems that after 8 months, it's getting harder and harder. My heart hurt in the beginning, more like it just died with him. Then, I started to feel better, a bit more like myself. Since the end of February, I feel ... I don't know like I'm a walking emotional person who misses my dad more than anything. Maybe it's because it's more real now. Maybe it's because my mom has been living at my house for the last month, it just seems like I tear up over anything... 

seeing Erika with her dad
talking with Nat about her dad
seeing a young child with her dad
listening to a co-worker tell me about his conversation with his dad
listening to a song on the radio (or Helen Reddy over and over)

I know I am ok and I know in time it will get a little easier but for now, I will just keep up with the roller coaster knowing that my dad is always in my heart. 

A daughter’s love for her Dad is forever

A dad is his daughter’s first hero,
The man she admires from the start,
And whether she’s small or completely grown up,
He has a warm place in her heart.
{card I bought for my dad a couple years ago}

{one of my favorite photos from his service. I love how my cousin captured his baby picture in the background of the photo of him and I}

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Estate Planning and Will

Ok so everyone needs to listen and listen very carefully....

Death and what we will leave behind is not something that most people really want to talk about. Unfortunately, we are all going to experience it at some point and trust me, it's horrible.

When Paula died, I talked with both of my parents about things, leaving a will, being an organ donor, various conversations but I never did anything. I didn't make a will, neither one of my parents made wills, I have yet to register as an organ donor... ridiculous, right? Probably but I think so many of us talk about it but do we actually follow through?

Well, after the last 7 months of hell, I cannot express the importance of getting things in order. Fighting, arguing, and I'm thinking wars could break out over not having a will. Seriously, even though my dad had most stuff in a trust, it's insane. When my dad completed this, he wasn't in his 'normal' frame of mind; however, the lawyer and doctor's said he was (uhmmm a month before he filled out his will, he was talking about flying his plane that I might add he had not had since the 80's and then he mentioned he'd just steal a plane to fly). My dad's mind frame had not been right since April of 2008 but what do I know, I'm only his daughter. Apparently everyone else was much more aware of my father's frame of mind! So now, I deal with (sorry, cover your eyes) but basically bullshit that is more frustrating than I can handle. Honestly, I just want to grieve the death of my dad. I don't want to be bitter, angry, or hate the world but when I have to deal with stupidity, how can I heal? I can't. Every day can be a constant reminder of my dad moving over 2000 miles from me. A reminder of my dad going to make this better life for himself and to provide better for me as well all for what? For someone else to control everything? F-ing ridiculous is what I say. So I am telling you now, for your children and family members sanity, go out and get your estate in order. Have everything spelled out. Talk with your kids or parents or whoever is being left with things. Let them know.... COMMUNICATE.

I have talked with my mom over and over how we need to do this and guess what, we put it off. My mom has property with my uncle and God forbid anything happen to her (because seriously, my life will end) but I don't want to have to fight with him because things were not spelled out and I am at a loss. When I have to go through this hell again, I want to be able to grieve and not worry about stupid things that should not matter but do (I mean, my taxes are me and having an idiot be a part of what I will have to file, someone who honestly, probably got her degree from no man's University or bel ford university for that matter)... that affects me and I could end up getting screwed if she is really as dumb as she seems to be. Lord seriously help me! Luckily I have a knowledgable accountant who is willing to call her and talk with her.

So today, I called a lawyer to make an appointment for both my mom and I to complete a will and have our estate's in order. That way, if and when something happens, we have everything taken care of. There will be no surprises. My mom and I communicate and I cannot tell you how important this is to do. My dad and I had talked about things but as his illness progressed, he just didn't care anymore. He didn't want to deal with things because he just wanted to be happy and not have a care in the world. I can't blame him but at the same time... grrrr! He thought it would all be fine but it's not. It's been an absolute nightmare and emotions come up that I can't deal with anymore.

So please, if there is anything you get out of this, it's not my nightmare or to feel sorry for me because I will be fine...  but please, learn from it. Talk with your parents, make sure that their estate is in order, that you are aware of what will happen. Make sure that your children are protected. You live your life for your children, you sacrifice for you children so don't let the government or someone else take all YOUR hard work from your children. Protect them!

Monday, April 02, 2012


I just wanted you to know that I love you and I miss you so much!

your daughter