Sunday, October 24, 2010

20 years

So this weekend was my 20 year reunion...

did I go? No

20 years ago, I never thought I'd be here. I thought by now I'd be married and have kids, be a mom. The type of mom I read about on blog after blog. It's all I ever wanted. But things don't end up the way we want. For some reason, God really enjoys letting me know things don't turn out the way we want or hope for. I keep waiting for the lesson I'm suppose to learn. Maybe the boat keeps passing by and I don't see it because it's smaller than I thought, but I really just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel here.

I would give anything in the world for those I care about but it seems that in return I can't even get half. I don't expect the same in return, maybe that is my problem. I'm "too emotional" or "too girl" but you know what... at least I am loyal, caring, and trustworthy. Maybe I should lie, not give a crap, cheat, not go above and beyond to treat the person I care about like he is the greatest thing that walks on this earth. Then I wouldn't care and I wouldn't be "too girl".

If anyone knows a doctor who can take out a girls emotions, let me know... I think it could help!

4 comments:

angieinpink said...

i've often wished for an emotionectomy. it's gotta be doable, right???

love you so much jenn! you are an amazing person & don't ever forget it.

beckyjomama said...

GIrl - you KNOW I've been there ... and look where I am now. Trust me ... the good ones are worth the wait.
God is faithful. I am prayin for you and lovin you. Just wish I was there to hug you too.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

becky said...

jenn, i just love ya! keep being you & someday someone will be good enough to deserve you! (:

Jenn said...

Ang- ha! If you find where to have the emotionectomy done, let me know! :) I love you too and thanks!

Beck and Beck- In my opinion, I found him but it's complicated. Maybe I'm wrong and if so, that makes me very sad.

and Beck- I remember and I wish you were here to drag my butt to church. Maybe that's what I need but I just don't know. It's just been a tough month. Keep praying, k. xoxoxox