June 24 - 6pm

I am so grateful for my friendship I had with Paula. Over the last 3 years, so much has happened. The grieving process is not easy and I've done some things I regret. I never realized how hard it would be to lose my best friend. There is so much I miss. I just miss being able to pick up the phone and call when things seem so crappy. I miss her saying "Friend, hold on- I am going to make a call and I will call you right back. Everything is going to be ok." And- within minutes she'd call back and everything would be fixed. Or- those times I'd be all emotional over some stupid thing and she would sit and listen to me. I would apologize knowing she had so much more on her plate to deal with and she'd say "Friend, we all have issues and no one's problems are worse than the others." This from a woman who was facing death. I miss going to Papillion's and having wings {hot}, salad {no onions and no onions or tomatoes for her} with ranch, and 2 ice teas. Going to the movies and laughing because I knew she was going to talk through the entire thing at the actors on the screen. I miss just hanging out, talking, sharing, her smile, and her outlook on life. I miss her.

Today at 6pm is when she went home with "Sir"- that is what she called God, "Sir". I know she no longer has pain, no longer worries about bills {she was looking forward to that}- she is suppose to be living in a mansion with a few lots saved around for when some of us make it up there-

The picture was taken about 6pm 3 years ago out in Gold Canyon where the girls were at the time she passed away. It's almost like the opening of her world, watching down on her girls. I miss her most in this world and I so wish she was still here- Life is not fair and it really can suck! Thanks for reading- tonight, just remember for a minute an amazing woman who touched everyone she ever met. A woman who was an amazing mother, who taught me so much, and whose faith in God was unimaginable.

Lord, Help me step into that place of faith where your grace is beyond my imagining and miracles are common place. -Amen

Father

Happy Father's Day DAD-

I LOVE YOU!!!

IPOD Shuffle

So I just broke down and purchased this cutest little device. Yep- a PINK Ipod Shuffle. Now to figure out how to put only the songs I want instead of itunes deciding for me!

That's all- the end

Just an update

I went to the airport to say good-bye to the girls before they boarded the plane. Morgan was feeling nervous about the plane ride and worried to leave her dad for such a long time. Can you believe how grown up she is getting?? Faith asked me if I'd be sad when she left and then actually wrapped her little arms around me and gave me a hug. The girls made it ok and enjoyed their plane ride- that is via Stac. I thought I would post an old photo of the girls- this was the summer of 05 at a disney camp they went to at a friends preschool. Look how little they were and Faith has no front teeth!

As for me- things are good. Substance abuse class is almost over and with the class I attended my first NA {that's Narcotics Anonymous} meeting. NO- I do not have an addiction. We had to attend for class and do a presentation. I think this has been one of the most interesting classes I have had. I also started volunteering again at the detention center {which I ABSOLUTELY LOVE!}

My mother went to North Carolina and had a fabulous time, this was the farthest she has ever been from home. She also went to DC and sent me a post card of the Vietnam Wall- She's the best! I couldn't ask for a better mom. Amazingly enough I missed her while she was gone and I was whiny on my birthday because she was not in town. Funny- because I still would have been out with friends but it's just the thought of her not being here.

Hope this post finds you all well- as Ang would say...

{Happy Wednesday}

June

The girls and I had a great weekend! We stayed up late on Friday night and had tickle time. Funny how Morgan NEVER wants to engage in tickle time but always ends up getting involved and having fun. We ran a couple errands on Saturday morning {the girls were great-no whining} and then went swimming at my friend Michele's house. After, I had to stop by Erika's to help her dad look for paper work- so the girls went swimming AGAIN! Ok- after hours of swimming, what do you think happens to children? They get whiney! So- whiney and all we went to Target to find a toy they could take on the airplane this week. We came home, made pazooki {apparently that is what we do here now} and watched a movie. I was so tired I wanted to go to bed- I told them to turn the TV off when they were done but we all went to sleep at the same time. Morgan was in bed and started singing- HOLY WOW- the girl knows worship songs by heart! We probably all laid in bed and sang for about an hour. It was definitely fun and a great memory. The next morning I brought them home and Faith asked if I was going to church with them- so I went. After, Grandma Karen came out, we had a little bbq and hung out. I took Faith for her first "REAL" Pedicure. Yep, she soaked her feet and everything! This from the child whose toes were afraid of polish! I'll never forget Paula calling me to tell me that Faith told her to call and let me know her toes were not afraid anymore {of nailpolish-her fingers were still afraid though}. That makes me laugh-
As for Paula- it's been 3 years. I hate June! How I wish that we could just skip this month. But I suppose there were many great memories made that month. The last time the girls saw their mom and the smile on Paula's face when they both climbed into the hospital bed with her- her smile was priceless. I was baptized in the hospital room, with Paula, Becky, and Heather. Paula won at Skipo- even though she was not awake! OK- Beck and I let her win! oh- I also made Becky say the F word 10 times in a row and it helped make her feel a bit better for a moment! Yep- Becky said the F word and I heard it. And then there was the talk of "smart vs. stupid" men. Amazingly enough, we laughed a lot.
I so wish she was still here. I miss her. So here is to June- and to Paula- the most amazing woman I have ever known and the bestest friend in the entire universe- no one could ask for a better friend!

Good Times

The girls are spending tonight and tomorrow night with me- then will be leaving for Kansas for almost 2 whole entire months!
I LOVE MY FATHER-
Ok- gotta go because it is time for tickle time with the girls but I just wanted the world to know the good news-

The end {for now}

Get away to Tucson

LOEWS VENTANA CANYON RESORT


Vanessa and I are headed off to a couple days of relaxation and self-improvement
{if you must call it that}

This place is beautiful! Can't wait to just sit back and reflect on life
{read a book, take a hike, get a massage- the possibilities are endless...}


I believe coming home we'll both feel a bit more relaxed and refreshed!

Sometimes an Appletini makes it all better... Most often you need at least 3 of these!

other times... you just need a shot of tequila!


Vanessa (friend from school- luv ya girl!) and I met up at half moon yesterday after I got off work. We are both using what we've been learning in school on each other- to work through our issues- it's a wonderful thing {I think} - wonder if we'll be any good at it! Guess time will tell-

Friendship

Night out after Martini Ranch


San Antonio- {0'dark 30} and no make-up


Ok- so I spilled a drink in Corpus


Seriously, I think there was a shark in the ocean and it wanted to eat us!

I miss AJ's and Kona Grill. I miss going to Safeway drunk and almost peeing my pants because we laugh so hard! I miss the beach and thinking there is a shark attacking me and Erika making fun of me {ok, maybe not really} but I miss vacations we spent together. I miss talking about everything and anything and understanding where the other is coming from. I miss the fact that she spits and I swallow {water people, water!}. I miss that we always talk about getting drunk but I order Ice Tea and she gets water with lemon.

Cute Boy!

My friend Nicole called this morning because her babysitter bailed out on her. So- I get to spend the day with her little boy - Brayden -


who I might add is absolutely adorable.

He is so much fun!!

Just thought I'd share a couple pics I took
{getting ready to watch CARS}

Massage- Tomorrow

Ok tomorrow is massage night! NORMA ROCKS!!! I swear she is the best and if you ever need an incredible massage therapist, I'll give you the number. 1-1/2 hours of relaxation- Can't wait!!

WAF

I love these girls

More than 500 thousand billion trillion long necks!

The girls are here-

The girls are spending the night tonight- It's been awhile and well,
there is nothing better than having them here!.

Tomorrow we are off for haircuts then to experience our first Cinco De Mayo festival! We'll soon be found in front of the television watching The Princess Diaries with yummy Pazookie, which was highly suggested by both girls- good thing I knew they'd be asking and picked up the ice cream on the way home!

Freedom Writers

Rent this movie-
You will not regret it!

It just proves that if you
care,
you can
make a difference.

Homework

1 A.M.

I absolutely LOVE school.... NOT!
I am just now finishing my paper that is due tomorrow night and honestly, I did not put it off 'til tonight. Just the majority of the assignment. If I did not procrastinate I think I would enjoy school. Or if I had an extra 24 hours!

- time to sleep...

Good Night!

Prayers needed

As I went through various blogs of scrapbooking friends, I came across a friend whose younger sister has a 3-year-old daughter with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Not only is she facing this, her husband passed away last Oct. with Leukemia.

This is a taste of reality. When we believe our lives are at their worst- we should just be thankful for what we have.

Please, please, keep this little girl, Sami, in your prayers along with her mother and their family.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! Well the girls got their share of baskets, the Easter bunny (of course), Grandma Karen, and myself. I went out to see the girls in the morning and spent most of the afternoon with them. It amazes me how big they are getting. They are really such incredible girls! The above are the baskets I made up for each of them.


This I would have to say is probably one of my favorite photos of Faith... Look at that little wrinkle in her nose!


And Morgan... has a beautiful smile. She is growing up so quickly.



They always seem to refuse to take pictures together but I managed to get one of each with their Easter bunnies.


Finally the 3 of us. We hung out in Morgan's room and seriously trying to get a photo of the three of us is quite impossible. Morgan usually does not like to have her picture taken. Faith would take any camera she could get her hands on and take pictures of anything possible. Me, I hate being in photos so here you have it... the 3 of us taking a picture of ourselves! Someday Faith might kill me because of the lovely nose shot, but hey, she's 7, she doesn't care about those things yet!

Morgan and Faith

I just had to say... I absolutely LOVE these kids- More than 50 billion, trillon longnecks (dinoasaurs for those of you who are questioning that one!)

This photo was taken in October '04 after Race for the Cure. They have grown so much and I have loved every minute of being a part of their lives.

I received this email and it's just a reminder to say a daily prayer for our troops!

'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.'

Wildlife Zoo

Morgan (9), Nikkolina (8), Faith (7), and Haley (10)

I took Morgan, Faith, Haley, and Nik to the Wildlife Zoo clear across the world to Litchfield Park. It is so much fun to take all 4 girls together. They are all really great and get along so well. You would think 4 kids would be crazy but it is pretty simple and fun. We saw all kinds of animals and I think what the girls will remember the most is the fact there was a boa constrictor (yep, a SNAKE) that did not have a class to cage it in. I, of course, told them I would meet them at the exit door as they kept telling me there was no glass. How they even got me into the snake exhibit in the first place is beyond my belief! The girls also had a great time petting Llama's, goats, and baby deer.

After we left the zoo we stopped for pizza. We were all starved by the end of the day and then the long trek back home. The girls each wrote Edward a letter and our last stop was The Sportsman's where we purchased a ton of hand warmers for Edward and the girls picked out treats to send to him. I am looking forward to our next venture together!