Friday, June 29, 2007

New Beginnings

This is an update which will be taken off my site within a few days. I wanted to let my friends know that it's over with Edward and I. I am sadder than sad. I think we are both just in 2 different places in our life and therefore the only choice is for this relationship (not sure what exactly the type of relationship we had) to end. I never told him, but I fell in love with him. For some of you, I am sure you think that is crazy. I know I have pulled away from some friends because of this relationship and the pain they have watched me go through while I try to be supportive of Edward. I did what I had to do because I am not one to walk away from something or someone I care about. I know everyone comes into our life for a reason and I learned with Edward that I could trust and I could feel safe and I know someone can care about me. So, tonight- I say good-bye to Edward. My heart is broke but I know it will heal in time. People say God only gives us what we can handle. I guess I can handle this, doesn't seem like it, but I know I can. I have the support of my mom and my dad- my friends- and Erika even called tonight. I have not spoken to her since last Jan. We laughed- I LOVE laughing! I want to laugh everyday and I want to smile and be happy. In time.... I do wish nothing but the best for Edward. I may not agree with some things, but he is an incredible man. If he was not, I would not be typing this email, because I would never have let him into my life-


Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

8 comments:

angieinpink said...

Girl, you are amazing! I just love ya, and I look up to you for looking for the positive in a disappointing situation. I fully believe that...God doesn't give us challenges that we can't totally rock.

It's wrong til it's right...and the right guy's gonna come along...but you deserve only the best!

Jenn said...

Right now, there is not much positive to see- I just want the hurt to stop. It is the most horrible thing. I have good moments and really crappy ones. But I know that in time I will look back and be ok. For now, it really sucks. Thanks though-

beckyjomama said...

boys are stinky!!!!

chris & amber said...

I'm sorry, Jenn. I do have to agree with Angie...I really look up to your "half-full glass" perspective. I think this just means there's an even better man out there waiting for you. I hope you feel better! I'll be thinking of you.

Amy said...

I am so sorry Jenn... I know that it can be so hard but keep being positive! I am so happy that you and Erica have become good friends again and that you two are able to laugh again! Call me if you want to go to dinner sometime or just need to talk! Love ya girl!

Julie said...

Hey Jenn! Man you have a good way with words! Keep staying positive. For this too shall pass. I am about to post a poem type thing that was passed along to me, check it out. It kinda goes along with this moment.

Jenn said...

Thanks for all of you and your support. I feel like I am doing better today. I believe the last month and a half that I was already grieving this loss because of the lack of communciation I felt he was giving. I think I knew deep down it would not work and I couldn't continue but I did not want to give up because I honestly did care very much for him. I needed closure and I have gotten that so I can now move on. Then last night when Morgan called, it put everything into perspective for me {funny how a 9 year old can do that}. Also, having such supportive friends, helps- A LOT! {not to mention my supportive parents, who are the best!} {Now can we go to Italy dad???} I know- in time. Also, I have a direction with my career now so that is helpful and I am looking forward to it. My positive outlook is back and I feel better. I've cried a lot the last week {ok, month and a half} and I think the healing process is now beginning and I know that soon, it will not hurt. I'll always care about him and wish him nothing but the best. Ok- thanks for letting me ramble and best just listening to me. :-)

shabbyscrapper said...

i might sound like a broken record, but i agree with everyone else. ed is a good man and perhaps in time he could have given more, but for now, he just couldn't be at the same place you are. and i sooo agree that you deserve nothing but the very best. whatever man ends up getting you will certainly be one very luck fellow! you have some of the best friends in the entire universe...we are all here for you...we love you!