My First Jump at Phoenix Area Skydiving!

Skydiving photos

Dad-

I can't imagine having anyone else for my role model. You will always be my hero, my heart. I know that you are always watching over me and I am living my life the way you'd want me to. Taking chances and doing things that may be scary but that I can always look back on and have an amazing story to tell. It's taken me a long time to take some risks and skydiving is one of the biggest risks I have wanted to take. Now, I'm not going too crazy... I do not foresee swimming with sharks in the future and sorry, but I won't be flying a plane either. I'll leave that one for you! My goal is to do the things I want to do and enjoy every day of this life I have. To be happy because that would make you happy. I miss you dad, more than I ever knew was possible. I wish you could have been here physically today but I know you were with me every second. Today, I got to fly with an angel... you!

Happy Birthday Daddy... I love you with all my heart!

Thank you for keeping me safe! xoxox

Skydiving - Happy Birthday Dad!

For my dad's 66th birthday, I decided to skydive to honor him. He had a pure passion for anything adventurous and skydiving was on the top of his list. I have always wanted to make a jump but I'm terrified of heights and I'm not a fan of small planes. About a year ago, I decided this was it... I needed to commit to jumping for my dad and decided that the best time to do this would be his birthday. So I started to mention to others I may go skydiving. Back in September, I finally told my mom... which meant I was dead serious about this. I was going to jump. About 6 weeks ago, I made my reservation for Feb. 17. I almost vomited just making the reservation but I did it. The weeks slowly kept going by and before I knew it, I woke up on Feb. 17 and headed down to Casa Grande to jump. I wasn't as nervous as I first thought I would be. Maybe I wasn't as nervous because I knew my dad would be with me on the jump. I'm not saying I wasn't nervous at all because I was. I don't know but I was surprised at the fact I wasn't in the bathroom throwing up! I'm not saying I wasn't nervous at all because I was. My mom drove down with me and Aunt Debbie, Uncle Tom, Steph, and Zach met us down there to help cheer me on. That meant the world to me!
I filled out my paper work, thinking I wouldn't be getting on a plane for another 30-45 minutes I was told I'd be on one in about 15 minutes! WHAT!!!?! I'm not ready for this yet... I still have to put my dad's t-shirt on, put on tennis shoes, and not all my family is there yet. Somehow though, it all worked out. I'm talking with Tim, my skydiving tandem buddy and he's tell me when he opens the door I'm going to cross my hands over my chest and lean back. Then tells me when he taps me, open my arms wide open. I'm asking - how many jumps has he had (16,000) and I'm thinking ok, I'm safe. He says he's been jumping for 24 years and was on the US Skydiving team. Thank you baby Jesus for giving me someone who knows what he's doing. He was a second generation skydiver. He's asking me questions and I can't even think... let alone talk.
We head outside, take a photo with my fam... Walk toward the plane, take some more photos. Then we climb in this little freaking plane.. Tim, myself, and the pilot, Justin... Jason, heck I don't remember. This is happening. I am going to jump from an airplane and free fall into the sky. I talk the entire flight now. I tell him about my first flight with Jerry to Alaska. Tim has heard of Willsey, crazy... small world, kinda. He tells me he was on the US Skydiving team, I tell him about the time my dad told me I was flying, then I know it's time. He tells me to come sit in front of him and I think oh hell... he straps me to him. I don't know how I felt at that point, excited, scared but when that door opens it's complete fear. I'm thinking no way... I quit, I'm not doing this as I put my legs over the side of the plane. Before I can back out the plane tips to the side and we roll out of the plane. It was AMAZING! Oh My Gosh... I can do this. We're falling and it's unbelievable. That is when I think, what if the chute doesn't open. HOLY HELL... but it does. Then we start to just float and I can breathe. This is the most unbelievable moment. Tim gives me the controllers to move the parachute. At about this point, the motion sickness comes to surface and I remember every time my dad would take me flying in his little plane how sick I would feel. Now the parachute is turning and we are moving from side to side. Tim tells me to show him my feet, which means to lift my shoes because we are going to land. As we are floating, I tell him about how my dad busted his ankle and that even though I know nothing is going to happen to my ankle, that is my fear, breaking it. He says he understands, it's a mental thing and I agree. We land... and it's a nice, soft landing. Tim tells me to put my feet down and we are now on the ground. He unstraps me from my harness and I'm done. It was seriously amazing.

Color Run - Tempe

Got up this morning to do a little fun run with Dara and Patty. It was a beautiful morning, not too cold and definitely not too cold.

This is the Happiest 5K on the Planet and it was quite fun! Especially when you are with friends.

Can't wait for next year! Blue feet and all… 

                 

The Journey is Worth the Ride

It's crazy to think that I'll never see him face to face here on this earth. I can't pick up the phone and call him. Even after 2-1/2 years, that is the one thing I want. After 2-1/2 years though, my days are so much easier to get through. I was driving home from work today and for whatever reason, I thought back to that early morning after my dad had passed away. I remember I finally fell asleep probably around 2 or 3 in the morning and I think I was up within about 2 hours. I was in a hotel and I went out to his house, opened the pick up of his truck and tried to curl up in it.. to somehow be closer to him. It was so cold but I didn't care, nothing mattered. My heart was dead. I decided to drive up to the lookout point in Fairbanks and I just sat and cried. I didn't think anything could ever get any worse than that moment. And honestly, it hasn't and I don't ever see a day it being that bad again… not until the one day I dread, which we won't discuss because it's not going to happen for another 30 years at least. I will say this, I am blessed though. I had the honor of being this man's daughter. We butted heads throughout my teenage years, like any father and daughter, but probably more so because I'm pretty much very similar to him. He was stubborn (even though he continuously denied that trait) and I am stubborn in case anyone wondered. :-) But I know that this man loved me unconditionally and I loved him just as much. When I was little we would end our phone calls with 'I love you more' 'No, I love you more', 'No, no, I love you more'. I don't remember who ever won that battle but I believe we loved each other equally. My heart will continue to stay broke and deep inside there is pain from this loss. However, for those going through the beginning stages of grief, or even somewhere in between, some miraculous thing happens - that stabbing, aching pain that you feel - the numbness and loss of yourself - it slowly starts to return. You'll smile more, you'll laugh more but there will be moments that hit like a freaking hurricane that make you stop in your tracks. A tear will slip and you'll miss him like that first moment. A little pain will seep from your heart and you'll remember that pain but it gets pushed back again for another moment of reality that your loved one is gone. Hang in there because the journey is worth the ride.

xoxox

2013 Christmas Eve

As the year comes to an end, I pray that 2014 goes just as well, if not better, than 2013. I can say that this year was a good, if not great year. I've accomplished goals I set out for myself and have been successful. I've started running and I'm kind of addicted to this new found love. Call me crazy but it really does make my day better and I seriously feel guilty if I don't run on my 'run' days. I'm also back in the gym lifting and loving every minute of it. Ok, not really… I hate it when I'm there but when I'm done.. Thank ya Baby Jesus.. I feel amazing. I have an amazing trainer and without him, I would not have made it this far. Overall, I've found myself again and I couldn't be happier. 

When my dad passed away, I pushed a lot of people out of my life. Some I lost for good and that is fine. One of my favoritest quotes is by Marilyn Monroe "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Ain't that the truth and good riddance to them! Some of my friendships have grown much stronger and I treasure those people in my life. I've rekindled some friendships and some are going in new, better directions. Things are good, I am happy. 

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and wonderful Happy New Year. 

May it bring you joy, good health, and every happy thing you deserve!

Getting ready for Christmas

Decorated the tree the weekend before Thanksgiving this year because I knew T-day weekend would be super busy. Some of my favorite ornaments are my angle that I bought in Venice, Italy. My 'Believe' bell that I got in Alaska in 2006. The ornament I purchased while at The Pentagon, and my newest ornament from Hawaii this past summer! 

I was trying to get a photo of Lynkin and I in front of the tree. For whatever reason… he was being a big baby and trying to climb in my lap! The top right photo is how he always gives me hugs, his nose buried under my chin! He makes me laugh and makes my heart smile! Love this dog so much!!!

My newest Christmas decorations… 'We Believe' sign and the snowman!

Went to our family reunion today and both of these were in the auction! Had an amazing cousin bid against me for the snowman and when it was all said and done, he outbid me… then turned around and gave me the snowman.

Warm Me Up

So I am kinda loving OPI's 'Warm Me Up' polish. 

No worries Lincoln Park After Dark… 

I'll be back because I love you with my whole heart! 

Hawaii - 2013

Oahu, Sept. 2013 - Went to Hawaii with my mom for her 66th birthday. I took her snorkeling and we swam in the ocean with dolphins and sea turtles. Lots of fun- I got a couple of great shots of dolphins. While the rest of the tour was swimming toward another group of dolphins, I turned and saw these 3 swimming together. 

The tour took us to another spot where we swam with about 6 turtles. Later in our trip, we did find a sea turtle in the ocean while we were at the beach. My mom followed it as I ran back to get the camera for a photo. By the time I got back out to the turtle, he was gone. 

One of my favorite places was actually The Outriggers Canoe club that Marsha belongs to. The sunset was amazing (see below). We would meet for breakfast in the morning and happy hour in the evening. Aunt Nona used to tell my mom about The Outriggers and so it was one place she definitely wanted to go. Worth it (but only if you are a member, sorry).

 Chinaman's Hat - stopped for a photo opp on our drive around the island with Marsha and Newell. 

I cannot mention my favorite beach because it seemed to be less populated and well, I am hoping that it will still be more isolated in the years to come as I go back. This beach was pure heaven and I already have my first 3 days of next summer planned for this beach. Both my mom and I loved it here and don't really want to go to any other beach. Our first visit here, we spent time in the ocean and the waves were perfect for body surfing. It was so much fun!

Pulled off for some sight seeing on one of our many drives. 

 This is the view from Marsha's guest house. We slept with the windows open every night and the trade winds kept us nice and cool. Every morning I woke up, I could see the lush, green palm trees with Honolulu in the background!

My mom and I on her birthday! It was such a fun, great trip! Looking forward to going back next year.

Chicken Salad

Awhile ago I found this amazing recipe for chicken salad and thought I'd make a batch up today. It's so tasty! Took it to a couple of amazing friends for lunch and didn't have any complaints. One guy did say he wasn't sure about the grapes but after tasting it that he liked it. So, if you are not sure about the grapes... try a bite and add half a grape to it. I promise, unless you absolutely hate grapes, you will love it. I did add toasted almonds to mine too...  

• 3 cooked chicken breasts, chopped
• 1 or stalks celery, chopped- about 3/4 cup
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1/2 cup seedless grapes, halved
• 3/4 cup dried cranberries
• 3/4 cup salad dressing, such as Miracle Whip brand
• 2 Tablespoons coleslaw dressing (Marzetti's is good)
• 1 teaspoon each- paprika and seasoning salt
• Coarsely ground black pepper, to taste

Simply mix everything together well. Chill for at least one hour before serving. It tastes much better if allowed to chill overnight. 

I didn't follow the exact measurements. I add to my taste. I did use a rotisserie chicken in place of the 3 chicken breast. Add the mayo slowly so you do not add too much. 

Buon Appetito!

Hawaii

soon.... my dear sandy beach friend.... soon

My heart just stops

A song comes on the radio, I read something online, talk with a relative, or like tonight... I look at his blog and see a picture of my dad and my heart just stops. The tears come and I just freaking miss him! Time does heal, somewhat. But that emptiness is still there. Not so much on the surface as the raw hurt I had for so long. I can't pick up the phone and call to hear his voice. Football season is hard because he was always watching football. Heck, even watching the news is hard because I can't pick up the phone and talk to him about it. But tonight... looking at this photo, it just makes me stop and think Damn It! I Miss this Man soooo dang much it hurts.

I love you Dad with all my heart, forever and always!

xoxox

Braided Spaghetti Bread

One of my co-workers bring this amazing looking concoction for lunch every once in awhile. I found this recipe and decided to give it a try this weekend. I started with an all day preparation of my Grandma's Sauce. She taught me how to make this when I was about 18 or 19 years old. My favorite memory of my grandma was going to her house when she would make sauce and meatballs. As soon as I'd get to her house, I'd have a bowl of sauce and a meatball with garlic bread! Got to love an amazing, loving, Italian Grandma!

Dinner for the first night included chicken and pasta. After I used sauce for the chicken, I added hamburger and sausage to the sauce. 

For the next night, I attempted the Braided Spaghetti Bread (yes, spaghetti in a garlic bread). 

First, I used Rhodes Rolls (12). I left them out for about 5 hours to rise (they were frozen). I placed them on parchment paper as they rose so it was easy to roll out once they had risen. With the sauce being made, I cooked up some pasta (spaghetti), about 6 oz. Mixed the meat sauce and pasta until it was nicely coated. The recipe I was following said to roll the dough out to 12x16. Place the spaghetti down the center of the dough and I added a little extra sauce. I also added mozzarella cheese on top of the sauce. Finally cut about 1" strips on both sides of the dough and 'braid' the strips over the top of the spaghetti. Brush the top with an egg white and sprinkle it with garlic salt and parmesan cheese. Bake at 350F for 30-35 mins. 

 Buon Appetito!

My first love...

I wish I could get on a plane to go here....

and spend some time with this man....

because he would make everything better!

My first love... My Dad.

Pulled Pork

So I searched for recipes on pulled pork and I came across a few but most were very similar. I opted for the 'easier' versions that included about 3-4 ingredients. I researched the best part of the pork for pulled pork as well. And for those of you wondering, for pulled pork the best part to use is the butt or the shoulder.

So here is what I came up with. It was tasted and approved...

7 lb. pork shoulder/butt
Lawry's Seasoning
20 oz bottle of coke
Sweet Baby Ray's Honey BBQ Sauce (I used almost 46 oz, see below)

I seasoned the pork with Lawry's Seasoning and placed it in a gallon zip lock bag (yes it fit). Poured the 20 oz of coke into the bag and placed the pork in the refrigerator. I left the pork in the fridge for about 5-6 hours. Since I was serving this for lunch, I started the process about 6 pm the night before. I was still up at midnight and so I placed the pork, with the coke, in the crockpot and let it cook on low all night. At about 8:30 am (8-1/2 hours later) I pulled the pork out and shredded it. It pulled easily off the bone and away from the fat. After shredding, I put the pork back in the crockpot. {this is where crock pot bags come in handy... I pulled the one out with the fat and coke and replaced a brand new one for the shredded pork and bbq sauce, simple and easy... no mess). I used A LOT of BBQ sauce, about 46 oz of bbq sauce. Use the whole 28 oz bottle first then add more until you decide there is enough.

*I don't feel like the lawry's seasoning really did anything except waste my seasoning. So I'll leave that one up to you. I will probably leave that out next time. Someone else mentioned cooking the pork with an onion. I'm not a huge fan of onions but I may try it that way next time.

Buon Appetito!

Two years ago today...

Two years ago today I lost one of the most important people in my life... My Dad.

Words cannot express how much I love you and miss you every day!

xoxox Dad, your daughter

Pre 2 year anniversary night

A year ago, I sat on my bed and read through the last two years of my blog. I read about my phone calls with my dad. My visits with my dad. I remembered holding his hand for three days in the hospital. Tonight, I worked on homework and now it's time to reminisce. I miss my dad so much but tonight, I can say I am better. I am truly back to my happy, funny self.
Grief takes time. I didn't realize how much time it would take. Don't get me wrong, I still miss my dad every day. I still want to pick up the phone and call him. I still want to run to him with my problems, concerns, tell him I broke a nail, or that my pool vac is not working and ask how I fix it. I want to call him and say, DAD- I am happy again! I want to talk to him about politics, what he thinks of things. I want to talk about football, the news, and every time a damn plane crashes, I want to call him and talk to him about it.
My tears are fewer in between now. I smile more often. I was told the other day by a friend that she could tell I was happy, she could see it in my eyes. I wonder how dark my eyes have been. It has taken me almost two years to truly be happy again. It's an amazing feeling. I used to be afraid to be happy. I knew it's what my dad would want but I felt guilty for being happy because I lost my dad. How can someone who loses someone they love so much be happy? It takes time. The happiness returns. My heart still feels a loss, there is a part of me that died with my dad but there is also a part of me that now lives for my dad. If I catch myself feeling guilty for being happy, I tell myself that it's ok, it is the essence of what my dad wanted for me. To be happy. I remember he would always ask if I was happy and I would tell him yes. His response was "good".
I want to do amazing things now. I want to live and I want to live for not only myself {and my mom} but for my dad too. I want to be brave and try the daring things that my dad would do. I think I want to skydive. That is going to be one of my next goals. I want to jump once for my dad. I want to feel that rush that he felt every time he jumped. The rush he felt when he jumped the day I was born to celebrate my life.
My dad did amazing things, he was brave. He flew a small plane from Arizona to New York and then to Alaska. He skydived, he was in a war, he accomplished his dreams and didn't have regrets. It's time that I make a bucket list and start marking off my dreams. I want this for me but I have my dad motivating me through it all.
So tonight, I am not going back through my posts to read about those final days. I can reply them in my head. Tonight I'll start a bucket list so I can live like my dad would want me to.

For anyone going through the grief of losing a loved one. Hang in there, I promise you it will get better.

I love you Dad!

Me :)

{my dad making a jump}

I Will Survive

I Love this... 

Daveswordsofwisdom.com: I Will Survive

Adele - Someone Like You

I don't think anything is more fitting... 

Someone Like You Lyrics ~ Adele

I heard that you're settled downThat you found a girl and you're married nowI heard that your dreams came trueGuess she gave you things I didn't give to you
Old friend, why are you so shy?Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light
I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvitedBut I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight itI had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be remindedThat for me, it isn't over
Never mind, I'll find someone like youI wish nothing but the best for you, tooDon't forget me, I begged, I remember you saidSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts insteadSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
You know how the time fliesOnly yesterday was the time of our livesWe were born and raised in a summer hazeBound by the surprise of our glory days
I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvitedBut I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight itI had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be remindedThat for me, it isn't over yet
Never mind, I'll find someone like youI wish nothing but the best for you, tooDon't forget me, I begged, I remember you saidSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah
Nothing compares, no worries or caresRegrets and mistakes, they're memories madeWho would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Never mind, I'll find someone like youI wish nothing but the best for youDon't forget me, I begged, I remember you saidSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Never mind, I'll find someone like youI wish nothing but the best for you, tooDon't forget me, I begged, I remember you saidSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts insteadSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Grilled - Pork Chops, Asparagus, and Pineapple

Pineapple Pork Chops

1/2 cup soy sauce

1/2 cup brown sugar

Pineapple Juice from a 20 oz can of sliced pineapples (separate the pineapples for grilling later)

Garlic Salt (I just sprinkled in garlic salt, did not measure)

Pork Chops (I used 6, thinly cut pork chop)

Mix all of the ingredients together in a gallon sized zip lock bag. Refrigerate over night. 

When you are read to grill, make sure the grill is super hot. Place chops on grill and over for 1 minute. Open lid, shift pork chops about half a turn. Cover lid for another minute. Now flip the pork chop over and repeat. This method I found is for thin pork chops and it worked great! While grilling, brush the marinade over the pork chops. 

Grilled Asparagus

Asparagus

Olive Oil

Salt

Wash and cut ends off asparagus. Using about 2 TBSP of Olive Oil, drizzle over asparagus then add salt (I use sea salt). Turn asparagus in olive oil, add more salt.

On the same grill (super hot) (I added the asparagus first because it took a little longer to cook), place asparagus and turn for 5-10 minutes {be careful not drop the asparagus between the grill}. Once the asparagus is charred and tender, take off the grill. 

Grilled Pineapple

Using the canned pineapple (yes, fresh would be 100% better), place on the hot grill. Brush with the marinade. Grill until charred marks in the pineapple and turn over, using marinade again. 

Buon Appetito!