Ok so everyone needs to listen and listen very carefully....
Death and what we will leave behind is not something that most people really want to talk about. Unfortunately, we are all going to experience it at some point and trust me, it's horrible.
When Paula died, I talked with both of my parents about things, leaving a will, being an organ donor, various conversations but I never did anything. I didn't make a will, neither one of my parents made wills, I have yet to register as an organ donor... ridiculous, right? Probably but I think so many of us talk about it but do we actually follow through?
Well, after the last 7 months of hell, I cannot express the importance of getting things in order. Fighting, arguing, and I'm thinking wars could break out over not having a will. Seriously, even though my dad had most stuff in a trust, it's insane. When my dad completed this, he wasn't in his 'normal' frame of mind; however, the lawyer and doctor's said he was (uhmmm a month before he filled out his will, he was talking about flying his plane that I might add he had not had since the 80's and then he mentioned he'd just steal a plane to fly). My dad's mind frame had not been right since April of 2008 but what do I know, I'm only his daughter. Apparently everyone else was much more aware of my father's frame of mind! So now, I deal with (sorry, cover your eyes) but basically bullshit that is more frustrating than I can handle. Honestly, I just want to grieve the death of my dad. I don't want to be bitter, angry, or hate the world but when I have to deal with stupidity, how can I heal? I can't. Every day can be a constant reminder of my dad moving over 2000 miles from me. A reminder of my dad going to make this better life for himself and to provide better for me as well all for what? For someone else to control everything? F-ing ridiculous is what I say. So I am telling you now, for your children and family members sanity, go out and get your estate in order. Have everything spelled out. Talk with your kids or parents or whoever is being left with things. Let them know.... COMMUNICATE.
I have talked with my mom over and over how we need to do this and guess what, we put it off. My mom has property with my uncle and God forbid anything happen to her (because seriously, my life will end) but I don't want to have to fight with him because things were not spelled out and I am at a loss. When I have to go through this hell again, I want to be able to grieve and not worry about stupid things that should not matter but do (I mean, my taxes are me and having an idiot be a part of what I will have to file, someone who honestly, probably got her degree from no man's University or bel ford university for that matter)... that affects me and I could end up getting screwed if she is really as dumb as she seems to be. Lord seriously help me! Luckily I have a knowledgable accountant who is willing to call her and talk with her.
So today, I called a lawyer to make an appointment for both my mom and I to complete a will and have our estate's in order. That way, if and when something happens, we have everything taken care of. There will be no surprises. My mom and I communicate and I cannot tell you how important this is to do. My dad and I had talked about things but as his illness progressed, he just didn't care anymore. He didn't want to deal with things because he just wanted to be happy and not have a care in the world. I can't blame him but at the same time... grrrr! He thought it would all be fine but it's not. It's been an absolute nightmare and emotions come up that I can't deal with anymore.
So please, if there is anything you get out of this, it's not my nightmare or to feel sorry for me because I will be fine... but please, learn from it. Talk with your parents, make sure that their estate is in order, that you are aware of what will happen. Make sure that your children are protected. You live your life for your children, you sacrifice for you children so don't let the government or someone else take all YOUR hard work from your children. Protect them!