Sunday, April 24, 2011

Favorite Easter Memory

I was reminiscing in my mind back to my favorite Easter memory. I think I was about 11 years old. We used to go to my aunt and uncle's house for a little Easter egg hunt and family time. We were all getting older and so the parental's decided to get a little creative with the egg hunt: we had a scavenger hunt.

Now we have to go back to a conversation that , my grandmother was having with my older cousin Ronni and myself (I don't remember when we actually had this conversation but it was definitely before that Easter day). I also don't remember the entire conversation but it was about boys. My grandma said something about being careful because boys can get "a rising sun". Now remember, I mentioned I was young, and I had no clue what this term meant. So, I got the break down of "a rising sun". {oh the innocence}

Back to that Easter day.... my Great Uncle Ray, who was probably in his late 60's, maybe 70's was enjoying that day with us. Let me just say... I loved my Uncle Ray very much. He was just the amazing "old" man and had a very kind heart. Anyways, one of my clues to find an egg was "Look for the rising sun". Oh my... I must have blushed like no other. I finally found the egg, as my Uncle Ray had it in his lap.

I think of that day and it makes me smile.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

If you want me to...

Let's just say it's still been a rocky couple of months in my life but I think the wave has crashed and I am slowly looking at the horizon and trying my hardest to hold on to hope. From sad, to hurt, to anger, to stress, back to sad, then anger again, and finally just pure stress with sometimes a laugh or two... it seems like every aspect of my life has been hit. Like that quote "when it rains, it pours". Well, there is hail and ironically, it feels like hell. Today though, I had a little "come to God" moment. Edward {yes, that Edward} and I were on a road trip and I put in Third Day. {whenever I hear Third Day, I think of him... he likes them and so do I}. He made a comment how he really needs to find a church again because when he was attending church before, it was the happiest he'd ever been. It made me think.... yes, he's right. Then I put in Ginny {Owens} - If you want me to - {song}. If any of you have heard the version of this on the Night at Rocketown CD, you've heard Ginny talk about her trails that she endured while trying to find a teaching job. Apparently, she realized that we are all going to endure trials; however, it's how we handle the trials that matters. I realized, I need to give these trials to God and trust in Him. I need to find Him again though. I need to believe.... again. Oh- and maybe not be so angry at some of the previous trails I've had {you know like losing my best friend 7 years ago and taking her from the lives of her 2 daughters}. So that is what I am going to try and do. I'm going to try and find Him. That makes me happy no matter what else is going on. That brings me a since of peace. He makes me feel that way.... not the one I love, you know the other him that has made me feel so broken because he needs some time to get through his own trails. So maybe if I can bring peace to my heart, the other part of my heart... the one that aches over him... will heal. Wish me luck!